It started with an article I read last week in the New York Times. "The Long Road To Adulthood Growing Longer" explained that while baby boomers are the generation that hangs on to a kind of 'perpetual adolescence" forever, now a younger wave of women in their 20's and 30's is following their example.
Apparently, "independence no longer begins at 21" and women now officially take much longer to finish school, leave their parent's homes, achieve financial independence, have kids---and regardless of our age, many women are dressing to show that they still feel like teenagers right up into our sixties.
The day after I read the article, I met with a new client. A well-known writer. Just turned 40. A very talented and very sexy girl with an emphasis on the 'girl' part when it came to her wardrobe. Having been engaged to help her evolve her style but still retain her signature look, ( did I mention sexy?) I went through her closets and found them filled with plunging necklines, tight, short short, faddish, disposable gear. "Young' was putting it mildly. As I pulled out the second short shorts jumpsuit I explained that these looked very Forever 21 to me. Not 'youthful' or hip just flat out young. "But shorts shorts are super cute," she said. And then she layed it on me. "What's wrong with looking young?", she asked as she tossed her very long, layered hair.
So, let's take a second to talk about 'super cute'. On my list: babies in little rompers. Little girls in sweet dresses with bows or tiny ruffles. Teeny tiny flower prints. Puffed sleeves. Baby doll anything. Coltish teenage girls in the outrageous and short looks of the moment. Grown women need to pack away 'super cute' with their yearbooks and move into a sophisticated update of their personal style. Problem is we can't seem to nail down when 'grown woman' begins visually.
Another day and NYC's first sidewalk-searing heat wave. Nothing brings out the short short lengths like savage humidity. I was shopping for a job in the contemporary department at Saks (ground zero for women of a certain age shopping for 'super cute') when I spotted La Romper, a 50-ish woman stepping from the dressing room to take a turn on the selling floor in a cotton romper ( that would be a thigh-gripping pair of bloomer shorts attached to a strapless blouson top). As I gawped, I heard this exchange:
Saleswoman: "That looks soooo cute on you!"
La Romper: "I probably shouldn't be wearing this right? I've always liked to dress for my legs."
Saleswoman: " Oh no. It's great. You should get it! You look FABULOUS".
She did have a pair of well-turned calves along with a braless and drooping bust, slack skin on her upper arms and some cellulite and a riot of busted capillaries on her thighs. In short, a normal woman. Normal aging. Big deal. But I wanted to say "Geez Romper! Why not show off your great calves and cover the rest of the bits that expose the age you are working so hard to deny?" Now, if you are out there thinking "Oh c'mon! She is clearly delusional." Maybe. But aren't the romper-wearing 50-year-olds of the world like distress flares sent up over dark, open water? Isn't a woman dressed like a teenager a livid reminder of how far our culture's morbid obsession with growing old will drive some women to avoid looking old?
There isn't anything natural or even familiar with the way we age now. We can Botox, porcelain veneer, fraxel, lipo, fortify our stressed and aging tresses with miracle conditioners so that we can wear them very long. And as long as media holds up celebs like Madonna and Demi Moore as the standard bearers of aging well through 'yoga and diet' the greater the age rollback among average women.
Our concept of what 'old' looks like is as skewed as our culture's trajectory from Forever 21 to womanhood.
Altering our bodies to look decades younger doesn't mean we won't look ridiculous dressing decades younger. So, here's how I reconcile the mid-20's age I feel in my head with my reasonably fit but middle-aged body. It's my ageless equation ( and the raison d'etre for my book Style Evolution) for looking great in your skirts or shorts or your anything this summer: Concentrate on real body awareness. A clever conceal wherever needed plus a subtle reveal wherever flattering equals grownup style intelligence. Easy.
If your legs look good and your knees are intact - one inch above the knee in skirts and dresses. Don' t care how great those stems are. Sleeveless is not your friend if it puts aging skin front and center. Wear clean-lined or pretty sleeves. And no rompers past college graduation.
Comments
cirruscloud says... Great post. Who are some of your style role models who have evolved their style gracefully? I know you mention Polly Mellen in your Pocket Stylist book, but are there others?
Also, on the flip side of this -- do you ever encounter women dressing too old for their age? And what would you recommend for them?
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